I find it difficult taking portraits of people. I blame it on my inability to quickly establish connections with them.
I was a shy kid growing up. I learned early on that I was not blessed with much talent. The kind of talent that I could easily show when asked spontaneously. It was an insecurity that bothered me when I was young. In a family of very talented singers, I often was a quiet spectator during gatherings and reunions.
It's something that I've learned to cope with over the years. I did eventually discover my own unique skills and capabilities but the experience I had growing up still affected the way I approach people. More specifically, I often have a difficult time keeping conversations engaging. I find it hard especially when I'm not able to draw out similarities with the person I'm talking with.
And so most of the portraits I take are of people very close to me. There's the familiarity that gives me the courage to point the camera at them. An exercise which often brings about a certain feeling of uneasiness in most people and eliminates immediately any the element of candidness in any situation.
I also tend to be less deliberate in my approach. I'm not that type of photographer who is very good at directing people. I usually start a conversation with them to distract their attention from the camera. It's very easy at this point since I've known these people for years. When the opportune moment comes, the split second smile or that peaceful and serene look, I quickly take the photograph and hope for the best.
Below are two recent portraits of my grandmothers from both sides of our family. These are not my best. It's an ongoing learning process for me and something I wish to improve on. I'm happy to say however that slowly I've been able to build my confidence.
I need to practice writing for an upcoming test :)
